Fw: Darwin Awards Newsletter, December 2005

DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - December 2005

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The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome
by honoring those who remove themselves from it. Of necessity,
this honor is generally bestowed posthumously.
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ON JANUARY 1st, the 2005 Darwin Award Winners will be announced!
To tide you over until then, enjoy the nominees below.

Research Scientists! Get paid for your knowledge.
I need short, general-audience essays on deep science topics!
http://darwinawards.com/old/main200512.writer.html

DARWIN AWARDS: The Movie, premieres at the Sundance Film Festival!
See the new Darwin Awards movie -- get yourself to Sundance!
For more information, and a special prize for fans at Sundance:
http://movie.darwinawards.com

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Darwin Award: FREEWAY DANGLER
-- Confirmed by Darwin

(31 May 2005, Seattle, Washington) Strength and endurance are two of
the most important characteristics that can be passed on to improve
the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In
this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass 40
feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 a.m. It turned
out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and
endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would
win!

Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back
up, despite help from his 31-year-old friend. The unidentified
champion fell smack into the front of a semi-truck barreling down the
highway at 60 mph and bounced onto the pavement, where he was hit by a
car. The car did not stop. Authorities did not identify the winner
of the competition.

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2005-13.html
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Darwin Award: PLAYING WITH ELEPHANTS
-- Confirmed by Darwin

(7 March 2005, Hanoi, Vietnam) Nguyen, 21, had been drinking with
friends in the Tu Liem district, when he pulled out an old detonator
he had found. It was about six centimeters long and eight centimeters
in diameter, with two wires hanging out. Because it was old and
rusty, Nguyen said, it couldn't explode. His friends disagreed.

To prove his point, Nguyen put the detonator in his mouth and asked
his friend to plug the dangling wires into a 220-volt electrical
receptacle.

Turns out Nyugen was wrong!

The victim had little time to reflect on his mistaken, or whether 220
volts alone could have been fatal. According to police, "the
explosion blew out his cheeks and smashed all his teeth." He died on
the way to the hospital.

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2005-02.html
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HONORABLE MENTION: Clean Brake
-- Confirmed by Darwin

(5 November 2004, Greymouth, New Zealand) Sometimes it pays to use a
cheaper substitute, thought Wayne, 19, as he replaced lost brake fluid
with dishwashing liquid. He took the car out for a test drive and
discovered that sometimes you get what you pay for.

He applied his foot to the brake pedal as the car began to slide
around a slight bend, but for some reason, the brakes didn't respond.
The car spun completely around, clipped the curb, and slammed into a
power pole. His trouble was just beginning, though, because Wayne had
also saved money by not registering the car. There was really no
point in registering the car, he thought, because his license had
already been suspended. Wayne was sentenced to 220 hours of community
service for driving with a suspended license, stealing two orange
traffic safety cones, and dangerous driving.

For what it's worth, his license was suspended for another year.

http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2004-13.html
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HONORABLE MENTION: Oops, Did It Again
-- Confirmed by Darwin

(31 July 2005, Darwin, Australia) A 30-year-old resident of this aptly
named town of 60,000, nestled in the Northern Territories on the Sea
of Timor, just wanted to go home. But he was thwarted by two
circumstances. First, he lived in an upper-level unit in a high-rise
apartment building, and second, he had locked his keys in the
apartment.

It was 4am. Some people do their best thinking in the wee hours of
the morning, but our protagonist is not one of them. He concluded
that his best course of action was to scale the outside of the
building.

He managed to climb a short distance before he slipped. Luckily, a
parked car was beneath him to cushion the fall. He pulled himself off
the shattered windshield and, unwilling to give up after one small
setback, again set out to scale the wall.

This time he reached the third floor before he slipped. He was less
fortunate than before, as he landed on his head, yet also more
fortunate, as this knocked him unconscious and saved him from a third
attempt.

He survived the fall, and was taken to Royal Darwin Hospital for
treatment.

Lest outsiders get the wrong idea of Darwin, Australia, we include a
comment from a sergeant on the Darwin Police force: "It doesn't happen
every day," he said.

http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2005-02.html
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VOTE ON THESE DARWIN AWARD WINNERS!

DOPE ON A ROPE
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-21.html
COLD CALL
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-20.html
FAULTY BYPASS
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-19.html
DO-IT-YOURSELF LANDMINE
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-18.html
CAUGHT IN THE AUGUR
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin1995-06.html
FLYING DUTCHMAN
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-17.html
HUMAN TORCH
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2002-04.html
SPY VS. SELF
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-16.html
SNAKE MAN
http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2004-15.html

AND READ THESE HONORABLE MENTIONS!

http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-18.html
KILLS BUGS DEAD
http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-17.html
WHITE RUSSIANS
http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-16.html
OVERHEATED ENGINE
http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-15.html
PERMANENT PROPHYLACTIC
http://DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2004-14.html

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""Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't
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